Sometimes it seems like everyone is doing it but only you can answer the question:
Is this the right time for me?
- Most people have sex for the first time when they're 16 or older.
- If someone says they have had sex, they may not be telling the truth.
- Being ready happens at different times for everyone.
Working out whether you're ready is something only you can decide, if you answer Yes to ALL of these questions the time might be right for you:
- Does it feel right?
- Have we talked about having sex and did we agree?
- Have we talked about contraception and did we agree?
- Have we got contraception to protect against pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infection's (STI's)?
- Do I feel I can say no at any time and will we both be OK with that?
But if you answer Yes to ANY of the next questions you might not be ready!
- Do you feel under pressure to have sex from your friend's or partner?
- Could you regret it afterwards?
- Are you thinking about having sex to impress your friend's or keep up with them?
- Are you thinking about having sex so that your partner stays with you?
Have you talked to your partner about whether it's the right time:
Yes, it's embarassing talking about sex but there are lots of things you both need to talk about, such as:
- Are you both ready?
- Will you be having sex for the right reasons or because you are under pressure from someone?
- Sex is a big deal on top of all of the relationship stuff there's STI's and unplanned pregnancy to worry about! So talk about contraception and condoms before you have sex.
- Ask yourself - If you can't talk about safer sex with your partner is it the right time to have sex.
- If your partner doesn't want to have sex with a condom that helps protect you both from pregnancy and STI's they may not be the right person to have sex with.
Being pressured to have sex?
- If you have sex because you're pressured into it you might regret it later.
- It won't make your partner like you more or stay with you.
- If anyone tries to pressure you into having sex and ignores your feelings - do they really like you.
They say: Don’t you fancy me? If you loved me you'd do it?
You say: Yes, but I'm not ready yet and if you loved me you'd respect my wishes.
They say: My mate's think we should have done it by now.
You say: It's not up to your mate's, you should care more about what I think.
They say: You haven’t had sex because no one fancies you.
You say: I haven’t had sex because I'm not scared of saying no or I haven't met anyone I want to have sex with.
They say: You’ll get dumped if you don’t do it soon.
You say: If he cares about me he'll wait, if he won't wait then that's his problem.
If you feel under pressure to have sex you might want to talk to somebody, your mum, dad or a friend.
DON'T WAIT ... TAKE ACTION and READ RELATED ITEMS
Contraception, pregenancy testing, the morning after pill and STI advice and treatment through appointments - telephone and online and drop ins. Full information on session opening times available.
Coventry Positive Choices Young Person's Service is a free and confidential young person's integrated risk taking service service for young people from the age of 5, their families, carers and affected others.
What are they? and where you can go to get tested and treated and stay safe in complete confidence
Why should I talk to my partner about sex? - there are lots of things you both need to talk about, such as are we ready?
Contraception choices and where to go to talk through your options in a relaxed atmosphere and in confidence.